Hosta By Kelley

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Going Back To My Introduction of This Blog

from August 2014 Second Editon of Hostas By Kelley


When I first introduced this blog in 2013 I characterized myself as an obsessed gardener.  I have to admit in some ways it is true.  I do look at my plants very nearly every day of the growing season, and then feel badly when it is time to cut the plants back for winter.  Right now I am a bit disgusted with the slugs (2014 season).  To change the tempo and mood I want to offer you some poetry that would be suitable for children to learn, and maybe a few obsessed gardeners out there.    [muwahahahahahaha!]   The writing is my own  I suspect it is not exactly perfect.  It tells of a obsessed gardener who implores their Hosta to grow … they might even have a hint of evilness on the side.  Their garden has a very different theme - Hosta by Size!  The reader might start innocently and move towards being more and more maniacal as they read it.

Warning: The cadence pattern differs from stanza to stanza, and ranges from A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh fame) to the archaic structure of a limerick.  Unlike other poetry or songs this work starts on the refrain.  Do you have your maniacal voices out … here we go …


The Hosta Chant

By Peter Kelley

August 2014



    Grow My Hostas Grow,

    Grow My Hostas Grow,






    Grow My Hostas Grow!


Itsy Bitsy Spider

grows only as big as your hand.

At six inches in diameter

it makes a pretty good stand!




The dark and lovely ‘venusta’

can grow to one foot round.

But if it goes rhi’matious

three feet just might be found!




Gemstone grows with all its blue.                [Stanza rewritten May of 2017 as it was seen to be blue]

It silently sits for all to view.

There's no white, yellow, red, or green;

and at two feet round it must be seen.




The namesake of the Gorgan

three feet do grow that crone.

It has so many eyes to see;

It just can’t turn to stone!




Singing a tune there’s always June

at four feet round it covers the moon.

On bright summer days, in sunlight rays,

the yellow is seen by noon!




Blue Mammoth you really must heed

At five feet it’s something to feed!

Those tusks were long; their feet were strong

and ya’ better watch-out for stampedes.




Blackjack was a kindly old page;

At six feet she’ll stand on a stage.

With no order around her; she couldn’t have flounder

and the cast couldn't get her backstage!




The Humpback Whale stood alone

At seven feet they set the zone.

With no-one beside’m, or even to ride them

They’re still very much unknown!




There was no hex for T-Rex!

At eight feet there’s nothing complex.

A flip of their tail, there goes the sail,

and everyone else gets vexed!



(... last stanza begins more restrained)


As Sum and Substance grows to nine

Everything else looks splendidly fine.

If there’s a ten, I’ll start over again

and rearrange things on a design!




(2014) Poetry offered to Barbara and Randy Everson (Winthrop. MN USA) for performance.

Plant Name Menu Codes:

In Gardner's collection:  green.

In Collection but is an unregistered sport: BLUE.

Past Plants that are no longer in the collection: Brown.

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